Celebrating Birthdays

Birthdays have proven to be a challenging time- keeping up with the norms and traditions where autism has come in to play for us. For me, birthdays were a big deal when I was growing up. "Go Big or go home" kind of thing. For my oldest on the spectrum, birthday parties are a complete torture for him. Every year we attempt to dial it down a little bit more for his taste.

I know that he appreciates the efforts we have made in the past, but he would prefer it to just be simple. I struggle with this--a lot! Simple is hard for me. I LOVE parties and entertaining. My oldest hates crowds, and presents are an added mode for sensory overload. It is hard living up to peoples "ideals". Knowing how to respond appropriately is not a strength for either of my kids. Not everyone involved handles that well. Our kids do not sugar coat anything. Some might presume that being nonverbal would mask the disinterest, but not really.

I'll never forget the year at Christmas time Izzy, my youngest, got a doll. My dad and stepmom were excited about presenting the present to her. They didn't know that there was something about dolls that seemed weird for my youngest. Her response was less than desirable. No sugar coat, the doll got flung across the room and she moved on to playing with the box and the wrapping paper the doll came in. Which is normal for babies, but not someone around 6 years old.

These behaviors seem rude, and frankly they are. We as a family are working on this, but these changes take time and developmental maturity that sometimes takes years to master. Mostly it requires grace from all involved. Moving on...:)

The Birthday Cake was yummy!!

So my oldest turned 11 years old in May and we did small. We got the things that mattered to Josh. A birthday cake, and all his favorite foods. We invited no one. It was just his dad, sister, and myself. It didn't seem like much, but Josh loved it! He wasn't so overwhelmed that he had to leave his own party. He even gifted us with a "first". We put the candles on the cake and my husband and I were fully ready to blow the candles out for him, because that is what we have always had to do. Josh never really seemed to understand why he had to blow the candles out before. But this time he waited and leaned in and blew those candles out (matter-a-fact-ly) like he was supposed to do and he did it!!! I looked at my husband and said, "What a gift. Josh surprised us on his birthday."

Luckily I was camera ready. The wind was blowing so my husbands hand is blocking the wind.

It really is about the small things for us at the Allen home. You have no idea what will happen or how this time might be different, but we celebrate! My kids are gifts. We do not do typical here. We have tried that and it was not as much fun. ;) We do us every day of the week and even on Sundays. I want to celebrate it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Everyday we practice the things we are not good at, and embrace the accomplishments made along the way.

Why not share our celebratory "first"? I know the autism community is vast and colorful. I love to see how we all celebrate our uniqueness!!!

Birthdays are tough. How have you celebrated? Share with us about your celebration's good, bad, and ugly. You can find us over at the website at Thatautismmom.com. or on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Have a great week you all.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day Autism Mom's!!!

It may sound a little selfish, but after being a mom of an 11 year old and a 9 year old that has autism,  I have MASIVE R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the mom's out there doing what I do everyday. We found out that our oldest had autism when he was two years old and I don't feel like we have stopped autism-ing since then.

Just the other day, I stopped long enough to think about how long I have been a full time stay-at- home mom and how many of those years I have been full time homeschooling. I get a bit of homeschool anxiety looking at my curriculum when the UPS guy drops my multiple boxes on my door step. I feel like some day I should do an "unboxing" video just to be completely transparent with you all. It is intense.

It wasn't until this year that I did what I never thought I would do--ever. I called the PS and asked about enrolling both my kids for the following school year. It was that rough of a year. No JOKE. We were dealing with a lot of "firsts" as a family. We moved to Northwest Arkansas and the kids just were not handling the move well at all. We needed help and finding new doctors in the midst of it all left me feeling inadequate and frazzled to put it mildly.

Why do I put myself through "ALL THE STUFF"? Why does it seem like I am taking on more that is physically or humanly possible? I'll tell you why! Because I am That MOM! I do what I do because I honestly believe that it is what is best for my kids and for my family. Mom's everywhere get this right?! It never seems to be just about us, its about our families. We tap into our super human powers for the sake of those around us. I am WOMEN hear me ROAR!!

Moma Bear hear me out. This is your holiday. Mother's Day. Tell yourself that you are AMAZING!! Cause you are. Tell yourself that the struggles you are dealing with in your homes right now are going to be OKAY because you are on the watch. Your family has YOU!  You, the one who wears all the many hats to make the life around you (with autism included) possible. All the therapy appointment, the advocating you do, the all nighters that you pull, the medications you administer, the behaviors you manage, the sensory diets that you regulate to maintain that base line-- Look at YOU! You are AMAZING!! I give you permission to sit down for a few this Mother's day and it you must, run your "ship" from that recliner. Feel free to put someone else in charge.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. Feel free to check out the website at http://www.thatautismmom.com/ You can also find me on Facebook and on Twitter.

Happy Mother's Day Autism MOM!!!

We are fading out old medicine and I'm Making Art ;)

We are in a transitional stage in our home. We have been trying new medicine. Every time we start a new one, I have a renewed sense of hope. Introducing medicine was not what I wanted, but we needed help. Nothing was working. Medicine was a last resort and here we are; one medicine after another shows us a new side to autism that isn't always nice and tidy.

I worked in the medical field prior to becoming a stay at home mom and caregiver. I know how medicine works. I just hate waiting. I hate seeing my kid struggle during each transition. I mostly don't like to see the aggression. It's rough on all of us.

I don't know about you, but I put on my nurses hat and I go to this place in my head that allows me to just be numb to the fact that this is my flesh and blood. I watch as he seems to completely fall to pieces. It reminds me of a seizure, but its a full blown melt down that he can't control. I see him try to calm himself, but he can't. We hang on and wait for the calm to come and try to not get injured in the storm.

It so surprising how quickly this comes on and goes. It's like a tornado in this way. He calms down and then he smiles and even sometimes laughs. I am free to come back to my reality and take off the "nurses hat" and hug my boy. I tell him I love him and that I hate to see him struggle so much.

We are hoping to find the right combination of meds sooner than later. I remember how much of an answer to prayer Clonidine was for our sleep challenges. I still will not let our Doctors mess with it. They sometimes will say, "We use Clonidine sometimes to control behavior for autism" and I kindly say, "We can't touch the clonidine, that's what we use for sleep." I think I probably do the crazy eyed smile that sends the doctor on to his next idea. They never push it. I know they just have to ask.

Do you hate calling the doctor about med changes? I do. If the medicine is not working and you ask for an increase in dose or to try something different. I think I hear a hint of discouragement in the doctors voices. Maybe its just my own discouraged soul that I hear?

So here we go, pulling out of the pharmacy parking lot and I look at my husband. I told him about my hopefulness that this was the last med we would have to try. That maybe we could leave the house again and it not be so hard for our son. "Maybe this is it," I said. The thing is, I never dreamed that this would be my experience with being a mom. This is all new for me. Everyday is its own mountain of guess work and maybe's . I want to make the best of this. I'm not here to merely survive, I want to live. I want us to thrive. I'm confident that this is what we all want for our lives. I don't want this just for me, but for my kids who struggle too.

The struggle in the midst of the suffering reminds me of our mortality and how life is only what you make it. Artist do this all the time. Some of the best art work is made out of the most unlikely materials. Who would have thought that a struggle like autism could be viewed as a work of art? I believe it was Franklin Covey who once said, life is like a canvas; its up to you what colors will be used to paint it. Sometimes I just need a little reminder, that in order to make something of the canvas, I have to pick up the paint brush and start painting. I have to remember to live every moment with hope and use all the colors.

Things I Do When I Haven't Been Able to Sleep

Things I DO When I Haven't Been Able to Sleep

This blog post is really a spot light shinning on the faithful autism parents who have the craziest sleep schedules because their children DON'T SLEEP!!!

Back story: 

 Josh is my oldest and was the one who conditioned me to the ongoing sleepless nights. I remember putting him into the car seat and driving him around for hours and hours, hoping he would fall asleep. And he would, as long as I was driving, but as soon as I would stop he was wide awake. Over the years Josh has mastered THREE consecutive days with zero amount of sleep. It was sad to watch his little body fall apart like that. He would run from one end of the room to the other at full speed and crash as hard as he could into the walls for input. By day three his body was so overloaded from not shutting down that he pulled an entire bookshelf over on top of him. The adrenaline  was so intense for him he finally went to sleep, except this time I couldn't let him sleep because we were so worried about a concussion. He was only three years old. 

See I tell this story and for anyone who has not been in this situation it seems too unreal to be true. But for those of us that lived in this reality we have a perspective on what I call an "autism family lifestyle," only those who have been there will "get it". 

My heart truly goes out to the families who are still looking for solutions to their child (ren)'s sleep challenges. We are thankful for melatonin and Clonidine for Josh and Hydroxyzine for Izzy. Without these medicines my children will not fall asleep. (Period)

Today's Sleep deprived story:

So even though my kid's medicine works at getting them to sleep it doesn't always keep them asleep. If they hear unfamiliar noises or something just happens to wake them up, they are up till the next night when they get their medicine again. :O)

Izzy has been regularly getting up at somewhere between 1:30AM and 2:00AM this past week. When she gets up I try to get her back to sleep if I can or give her something to occupy her busy little brain so I can get any additional sleep if possible. I hand her a tablet and let her watch Netflix, take a warm shower, get her a snack literally ANYTHING to get even an hour or more of sleep. Sometimes after about 3 showers and endless supply of the Spanish version of Bob Zoom on Netflix she might fall back asleep. If I'm lucky. The trick is getting her to sleep and keeping her quiet so she doesn't wake up Josh. Josh is a little harder to get back in bed. If he wakes up the whole house better be ready because Josh wakes up and his daily routine start right then. Then he is 'off' the entire day. Its a juggling act having two on the spectrum, which I think it has its perks as far as parenting strategies go.

SO this morning, after keeping this kind of schedule all week, Izzy woke me up and wanted Romine noodles. I would have said no to this request had I even been coherent, which I wasn't. I then managed to put the dry noodles in the microwave without any water in the bowl. I set the bowl in the microwave for 3 minutes and went back to bed. I then woke up to the awful burning smell of romaine noodles and ran to the kitchen to assess the problem. I thought I was burning pop corn which I would have been more okay with than Romine. I wrapped up the situation and headed back to bed. After falling back to sleep, I'm again woke by the adorable blondie next to me asking with "her words" (her language skills are limited, but growing everyday) for my cell phone. Which without a thought I handed the phone over like a little zombie puppet. By the time I had realized what I had done I snatch the phone from her hands as she was putting angry faces on people Facebook comments. Which I very rarely use that button, so if you happen to see that I gave you an angry face on a comment that you posted on Facebook please just know that I did not put that there. My daughter thinks it looks funny. It wasn't me. So I set my phone up with Netflix and turn on guided access and return it back to her so I could go back to sleep. As  she starts to fall back asleep and I began to join her in sleepy land, and in walks my handsome son, making his good morning noises and ripping the cover off our bed. Izzy sets up out of her sleep and gladly announces, "IT's MORNING TIME!!"
 and its only 4:30AM.

It's insane I know. If you're a mom of a kid or kids who don't sleep I fully believe we are going to get the best of beds in heaven where we are allowed to sleep until we can't physically sleep anymore. :) This was a day that coffee couldn't even cure.

On that note what am I still doing up. I should be sleeping while the kids are sleeping.

Good night you all and best of luck and try to get as much sleep as possible. You'll need it. :)

That Autism MOM

How We Survived Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Conference

A 

TTD HOMESCHOOL CONFERENCE

I was so impressed with Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Conference. I had an opportunity to hear Ken Ham speak. I went to almost all of his sessions and loved the information he shared. He had some really on target points to make about today's culture and the Christian Church. I took home some amazing resources from HSLDA'S. Educational plans for special needs homeschoolers and one other form that I can edit to help me tract goals and such for the kids. All of that was very helpful. If you are not a member of HSLDA I would highly recommend it. For $1,000.00 you can become a lifetime member, which is a huge saving and you have complete access to all their resources. They had yearly memberships as well, I believe it was $120.00 for the conference price. Not bad. 

I was extremely excited to have a handful of classes that were just for homeschooling with special needs. I walked into the first class with other mom's homeschooling kids with special needs and I felt such an instant bond I didn't want to leave. It was like a sweet bear hug and a great pep talk of you CAN do this. I totally needed to hear that. Having kids with severe autism, I know our Homeschool days don't look like most. I'm okay with with not being typical in this way, but it is supper encouraging knowing that I'm not the only one out there braving this journey. 

 

 

So my kids don't do well in these types of events. 

 

And they don't like the change in the routine. But my heart always wants our family to experience this together. I enjoy seeing all the families at Homeschool conference and I want that desperately for me. However, I will not push my kids when it's just not necessary. I do have an amazing husband who really knows my heart and he understands our limitations well. So we compromised; he brought the kids during one of the breaks and I took my kids through the exhibit hall and sat down with my husband and told him a bit about what I was getting out of the days conference. After about 20 minutes the kids where maxed out and I walked with my family to the exit door to say good bye. I finished out the conference with my kids safely at home where they were much happier without out the craziness of the conference environment. 

In one of our sessions, they talked about the difference in modifications and adaptations. I do both in our homeschool day. A modification is to simplify the lesson and adaptation is providing the tools necessary to do the work without altering the lesson. In our world I make a lot of modifications; more than I want. This is a clear indication of the severity of how much autism affectes my children's life. The truth is they wouldn't know the difference. They are loved and well cared for. I have learned that I can't change everything, I do what I can and give the rest to God. I have found this is the best way to live and deal with the difficult stuff in our life. I pray often for wisdom and seek for God's direction. 

I am daily grateful to the love and support of my husband. He is my anchor, protector, and provider. I'm glad we get to walk this journey side by side. 

Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Conference

Today we are getting ready to head to Rogers, Arkansas for the Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Conference. This will be our first time going to this conference. This will also be the first time taking our kids to a conference like this. It's a big deal for them. YIKES! My husband usually stays with the kids while I go. He is such a trooper.

I know that anything like this is really intense for my two kids. We don't leave our children with many people. We are very, very choosey who we let into their little world. So we have put some contingencies into our game plan for the next few days. My husband is a big part of that game plan and I am so blessed to have his support. We are going today for registration and the whole family is going. YAY! We will stay as long as the kids can tolerate. There may be a lot of walking around and getting familiar to the building this evening. There are classes that Patrick will go to and I'll take the kids and classes that I'll go to and Patrick will  take the kids. We will make the best of what we have. We are a team.

I am excited to sit in on the sessions and meet other families on this journey. I wish there was more support available for families like ours to attend and spend time getting refreshed. Our homeschools are a bit different, I assume than a typical homeschool family. However, anything that I can include my kids in, even if it is just for a few minutes, is a special moment for me. This conference has a few more sessions geared specifically for homeschooling with special needs and for that I am thankful. I need a time to get new ideas and refresh from the day to day work that I do with my kids. I love hearing about new ideas and trying out new curriculum. This is really a treat for me. I'm so appreciative of my husband for helping make this a priority. ;)

Let me know if you are planning on being at the conference. I'd love to see you there.

I'll try to post pictures if I get a chance. I may have to clear up some storage space on my phone so I can. :) This is a never ending story for me. LOL

Hoping that everyone has a great day.

Shelli Allen,
That Autism MoM
www.thatautismmom.com

Chocolate Covered Memories

This story comes to you today from a little piece of sunshine that is a sweet memory of my childhood. My grandma Johnson is a woman among women. I adore her. She is a masterful cook. She can whip anything up in a moments notice, from scratch. It's been the last couple of years that her health has been failing her. On Christmas day she was released from the hospital where she was admitted  for pain in her right arm. She was released just in time to make it home to welcome all the family into her home to celebrate. Christmas has always been an amazing family gathering at my grandparents home.

This particular story didn't happen at Christmas time, but it was during the deer hunting season. My dad and grandpa had went into the woods to do some deer hunting and grandma was in her kitchen melting the chocolate bark on the stove. My dad had bought chocolate bark before to put on top of our ice cream. I remember being amazed by how the chocolate hardened on the ice cream. Grandma was taking two Ritz crackers and putting peanut butter in between the two crackers and covering them with chocolate. My brother and I were responsible for putting the peanut butter on the crackers. I can hear Grandma now, "Don't put too much peanut butter on the crackers." She finished up the last of the chocolate and put the crackers in zip lock baggies. My brother got his own and I got one of my own. Then she filled a larger bag up for the guys out in the 'deer woods', as she called it. She put us in over sized orange vest and sent my brother and I out to take the guys hunting some of our goodies. She said, "This will help hold the guys over until dinner time. The peanut butter will give them energy." Off my brother and I went to find where the other guys were. It was a bit of an adventure. Grandma and Grandpa lived on quite a bit of land.

Today I pulled out the chocolate bark and just the sign of chocolate brought the kids to the kitchen, eager to see what I was going to make. We started putting peanut butter on the crackers and dipping them in the chocolate. It reminded me of the amazing time I had with my Grandma the first time I had this little treat and the adventure that she sent my brother and I on when we were kids. It really is the little things that we do with our kids that makes the difference. It's the time we spend talking with them and including them in our grown up worlds that they will recall with their own kids someday. All the grandmas out there that make yourselves available to your grandkids, teaching them the little things that their parents haven't got to just yet. You are valued and loved and you matter in the equation of growing happy healthy families.

That's all I have for today. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. From my home to your home have an amazing New Years!!

That Autism MOM


www.thatautismmom.com

Love getting Headstarts

About a month ago we moved to NWA (NorthwestArkansas). Autism parents can really grasp the intensity that a move can have on our children with autism. Then the time change came and autism parents know how the time change effects our children. Then there was Thanksgiving. I'm sure you know how well we all handle the holidays. While our children enjoyed seeing family it's hard on their sensitive little bodies. I'm just thinking with all this change I'll probably not sleep for an entire year. 😳

Well today was such a gift. I'm up before both of my kids. I feel like I even got to sleep in. I was woke up t 4am by Miss Izzy wanting her iPad, but she drifted right back to sleep. 8:00am came and they are still asleep. This is HUGE! They needed this and I needed this. Getting a head start on my day makes things flow so much better. This is going to be a good day.

I'm going to go enjoy my cup of coffee in silence now. I hope and pray you enjoy your day to. Find your blessings no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. One thing that autism has taught me is to appreciate the small victories, for me today is a HUGE victory!

Blessings,
Shelli, My Kids Mom
Thatautismmom.com

Gearing up for Thanksgiving

Good morning I realize that I have had very little time to set down and catch up on my blogging. We have relocated to the Northwest Arkansas area. This will be our first Thanksgiving in the new home. The transition was a little rough, but things are settling down in time for Thanksgiving.

There is a tradition on social media that is a beautiful display of thanks. Individuals daily will post what they are most Thankful for throughout the month of November. I did not participate, but I would like to take a brief moment to share what I am most Thankful for.

1. I am most Thankful for My family. Patrick is great dad, great provider for our home, and really a great husband to me. I am so thankful for Josh and Izzy. I enjoy so much of our time together. It's not all easy, but we try to have fun.

2. I am thankful to know the Lord. The strength and peace that he brings to my life on a daily basis is my saving grace. I know that I would not be able to do what I do, day in and day out, without him. I am thankful that he is just one breath away when I need Him.

3. I am thankful to live in America. Even in the craziness that is being played out in the news and other outlets of media, I am thankful for America. It is because of our freedom that people are so free to share their grievances. If we were an oppressed nation there would much less being voiced, I'm sure. I am thankful for the freedoms that I have and those that fought for those freedoms. It is easy to marginalize those freedoms when we did not pay a price for freedom. The bible instructs us to not forget the ancient landmarks. I don't want to forget the price that was paid today.

4. I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to become a mother. I smile as I write this out because it truly brings me so much joy. I love being a mother and being here with my kids. I was chasing Josh around the house yesterday. He was so clear and so much fun to be around. He has had a rough couple of months with all the transitions, its been rough on him. Yesterday was a reminder of who my son really is and what his baseline. Izzy was helping me in the kitchen. She loves to help out in the kitchen. I spend a lot of my time in the kitchen most days. It takes a lot to keep up with the meal schedules in our home so most of our days are hanging out in the kitchen. Both of my kids have above average skills in the kitchen and I am confident it is from our daily investments together in the kitchen that has made all the difference.

While I could go on and on, probably for the end of the entire month, but these are my top things I am thankful for.

If you are an autism family I will praying for you throughout the holiday season. I know how difficult it can be to change up the daily routines and adding people into your life that you only see this time of year. I get it. I know it is hard. It is for us. But challenge yourself, challenge your family to get out and see your extended family. You know just how much your family can handle, so even if it is just for a small moment of time, show up say hi and if you have to leave right after, so be it. Make an effort this season to connect. It is important, but I also want to encourage you to create a meaningful experience for your kids too. If that means fixing only the foods your kids will eat and calling that Thanksgiving, go for it.

Dad's pull away from the game and find your kids and make an effort to connect with them doing what they enjoy. Take them to the park to swing or purchasing an extra can of shaving cream and spreading it out on the craft table and play in it with your kids. If this is what is meaningful to them, then do it. Enter their world as much as possible and strive to engage with your family. Your days are numbered make the moments count.

Mom's try to relax and enjoy your day. I will you often prepare beyond just the cooking. Social Stories you prepared to make the day a success for your kids. You may have really worked hard to make sure that your kids had like foods that were within their diet restrictions. No one even notices your hours of prep time you put in for a successful day. I want to say thank you to you. I know that you work so hard being "that autism Mom" for your family. Happy Thanksgiving to you and I give you permission to relax and enjoy this day too. :)

I'd love to hear about how you celebrate Thanksgiving? Do you have special traditions? How do you survive the challenging obstacles? I would love to hear about it.

Thanksgiving is a time for family. Enjoy your families despite all the differences and quarks. Love one another and bless one another.


Shelli Allen, My Kids MOM
thatautismmom.com

Chiari's Malformation

We were sure that Josh was having seizures. We were doing the MRI to determine if the seizures had caused damage to his brain when we discovered that Josh had Chiari's Malformation. He was only 5 years old. Upon learning this, I was terrified. What if he was having extreme pain or headaches and not be able to tell me that he was in pain. Josh has been non verbal since he was 17months old. We had already received the Autism Diagnosis, but we kept struggling with regression. He kept losing skills that he had already mastered. He didn't have your most typically known type of seizures, he has what is known as absent seizures. That day I learned two things, well maybe more than two things. I learned that seizures had not yet caused any damage to his brain, but we also learned that Josh had  Chiari's Malformation.

{https://youtu.be/50nI45Qn878} This is an awareness video from YouTube That shows some of the symptoms of Chiari's.

When the doctor first shared the symptoms with me, it crushed me. My son couldn't tell me if he was in pain. We knew that with autism he would struggle with sensory challenges, which he does on large scale. I struggled to hold it together when the doctor told me that Chiari's causes extreme pain throughout the body.  The doctor suggested decompression surgery. We had the best neuro surgeon.

The mark showing the site for the incision.

I couldn't get the picture to flip for us. This is the cool car that they had for IV drips.

We were all so nervous. He was only 5years old and this was a 5 hour surgery. Having the surgery was a no brainer for me. Josh had to have the surgery. We spent a week in the hospital. I never left my son. I was sleeping in the bed next to him, making sure that I didn't miss anything. He was scared and I could see it in his eyes. He was afraid to eat for days. He was afraid to move his head. He hated all the tubes, so did I. When he was finally able to walk up and down the hallway, I seen his confidence improve. He was so strong and brave.

I always wonder how Chiari's is effecting my son daily.  I keep a close eye for signs of pain or loss of strength. I try to not let it dictate our days, but there is a bit of constant worry in the back of my thoughts. More than anything I hate it that he can't talk. I rely on his actions and gestures to clue me in for what he wants and what he needs. He was climbing trees three months after the surgery. He has no fear. I'm thankful for that. He has had great follow up visits since the surgery. It seems that the surgery was a success. I struggle with what I don't know. The things that he can't tell me. I believe that finding out early was a good thing. Kids are amazing when it comes to healing. They are resilient. That was certainly the case for Josh.

Shelli Allen, My Kids MOM

Pumpkin Spice Coffee

I'm in the office this morning sipping on Pumpkin Spice Coffee while the kids are outside playing and soaking up this beautiful weather. Windows are all open and I am counting down the hours for my husband walks through the door.

We got some great pumpkin spice coffee for the Keurig and I love it. So does my son.

I walked into the living room to find this cutie sitting on the couch sipping on my pumpkin spice. See the ornery look in those eyes; it's a constant look for him. He is so full of life and love. He was caught yesterday helping his little sister out of the car. It melts my heart. I am so thankful for these moments of clarity for me. This is what is important to me, these kids, our family, and moments that we spend together living our life dependent on one another. Family life lessons are being taught here. Lessons that include pumpkin spice coffee and a comfy blanket on a September Morning. :) This is the stuff that life is made of. I am feeling fall in the air and this makes me so happy.

Let's be thankful.

Shelli Allen, That autism Mom

To the tired MOM

Today is Friday moms and I am so glad this week is over. It has been a long and emotional week for me. July 3rd I prepared myself mentally and physically to say good bye to my husband for three weeks. He has taken an interim job with the company that he works for. It's August 26 and he is still there and will be for another two more weeks. 3 weeks has turned into eternity.

On the weekends my husband comes home to spend it with us. The weekends are just not long enough. It's not enough time to catch up on sleep that I have not got all week, spend meaningful time with my husband, and take time for me. I need time to be by myself to not think about anything. I have to have time to disconnect. You know, if you are a mom or parent of kids with special needs, you are plugged in 24/7. We don't sleep even when our eyes are closed. I'm not sure I every reach REM unless I know that I can count on my husband to be on watch so that I can turn off. It is easy to see how we develop such things as PTSD keeping this kind of schedule.

I have not been very good at developing a good support team for myself. I like to maintain this 'I can do it all' image. The thing is, I can't do it all. I have went into survival mode more than once during these last several weeks. I have dropped everything. Therapies, and all other appointments just to survive. This is exhausting. I'm not sure that I have articulated what my needs are to my family so that they can be a support to me during this time. God knows that I have tried. I have said everything except, "Get over here right now before I lose my sanity." The thing is during "crises" mode if all that you have at the end is your dignity, then by all means keep your dignity. Bahaha!

I laugh it off, but in times like these I do turn to God and trust him more than ever before. He has been the constant. When you can't trust anyone else, even your family, you can trust God. His strength is perfect. There is a song that I have played over and over during this time in my life. I'll leave the link here https://youtu.be/pSUu3H3rFQQ This song is sang by the Indiana Bible College, "Lord, I am broken. My life is in pieces, but your strength is perfect in all of my weakness." These are just a few of the words. It has really been a great source of strength for me. The words, the repetition of the name of Jesus was such a great reminder to me. He is my best friend. When no one shows up, God always will show up. All we have to do is call on his name. The strength that I have found during this time in my life will be a constant reminder that when my strength is gone, I can always count on God for his strength to get me through. I will look back even with this being one of the most difficult times in my life and say that I was truly blessed. God came through for me.

Maybe next time we will talk about what survival mode looks like. I might share a few pics as proof of the disaster that is my house right now. Oh my... maybe not. Remember I still have my dignity to protect. My dignity and my silly pride. Shaking my head (SMH)

I hope that you all get what you need out of your weekends. Get some rest. Enjoy some time to just unplug.  Just breathe...

Praying for you mom. Hang in there.

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

I Pledge Allegiance

School is starting next week in our home. Not a whole lot will change from our daily routine because really, we do school year round. I am always trying to engage my children in some type of learning all year round. It works best with our need for "sameness" and gives us a consistency that helps my children thrive.

These are two of the three pledges that we do as apart of our morning routine. It may seem silly to quote the pledges as apart of a home education, but its a simple tradition that I wanted to give my children. My poster with the America pledge on it got damaged so I've got to get a new one before next Monday. My kids look forward to doing the pledge. When we first started this last year, I would have to hold both my kids hands over their heart as I would say the pledge. Talking about awkward!! But I kept with it and both kids now will place their hands over their heart for the pledges by themselves. It is really cute to watch them.

The Bible Pledge goes like this:

"I pledge allegiance to the Bible, God's holy word.

I will make it a lamp unto my path and

will hide it's words in my heart that I might not sin against God."

The Christian Flag Pledge goes like this:

"I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the

Savior for whose Kingdom it stands,

one Savior, crucified, risen, and

coming again, with life and liberty to all who believe."

I assume you all know the Pledge to the American Flag. So I wont include it here. We also do a morning calendar. I can truthfully say I need this probably more than the kids do. I would never know what the date was if I didn't do this. It is easy for me to get lost in the routines and never think of today is the eighth  and it's Monday. So we do a daily calendar as well the weather. We will also be tracking the first 100 days of school just for the fun of it. :)

Part of our morning routine is our morning chores. Josh, my oldest, loves to work. He is really a determined little worker in our house. He is usually up before anyone vacuuming his room and living area. This wakes us all up usually before the alarm would go off. We don't typically set an alarm. We never know how sleep is going to happen at night. This is such a great perk for us. Sleep has always been hit and miss. So this works out great.

Learning happens in so many shapes and forms. This is Izzy tall kneeling, which is great, doing some drawing. She started out writing her name then moved on. I am so thankful to witness these joyous moments with my kids.

The last thing I want to share in this scattered post is our daily schedule. It is right by our clock and like the calendar, it really helps me and the kids stay on task. I would probably forget to feed the kids if I didn't have these posted throughout the house. :O)

Let me know how you do your home education. I'd love to read how you all do school at home with your kids. What are your goals for this school year?

Hope you enjoyed a little glimpse into our little world.

Shelli Allen, That Autism Mom

Day 31: Prayer Journey for the New School Year.

We set out on this journey 31 days ago. So much has been going on here at home. I'm really surprised that I was able to get through this without too many glitches. I am really glad this is the last day. It is a commitment to post once a day and the planning that goes on is a commitment as well. That is why this is a journey right? Thank you to everyone that has joined me on this journey. I pray it has benefited you as much as it has me.

Today's verse is 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

"For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
17. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
18. While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."

Dear Lord,

This year is exciting and new. There will be new challenges and new victories. Help us Lord to not get so caught up in life that we fail to work on the things that can' t be seen by man. Help us work even more diligently for Godly character. Help our daily desires to be focused on you Lord. Guide our home, and guide our hearts.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Have a great school year! Good luck moms. Stock up on coffee.

Check out my blog for more stories and resources. You are apart of the family now. :O)

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

Day 30: Prayer Journey for the New School Year.

Good morning! Welcome to day 30! I'm so excited that we have made this journey together. I have enjoyed taking this journey. I believe our kids are going to see many victories this year because of our investments made these past several days.

Today's verse is Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV
"Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."

Dear Lord,

I pray your hand of protection on every family going into this school year. Help us to all be strong and of good courage to do what is right.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

Day 29: Prayer Journey for the New School Year.

Hello! It's Monday again! :O) Monday's are rough, so here is your to do list. First, get your coffee and take a few sips. 2. Grab your bible 3. Prayer journal 4. now go to your spot where you pray.

It's Day 29! Our verse for today is Ephesians 3:20

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,"

I chuckled a little bit here. This couldn't be a more perfect verse for our Monday blues. :0) God is always provided me with the strength that I needed on my especially hard days. I am so thankful that God can provide us with the little things that we fail sometimes to even ask him for.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for being present and answering our needs that are even so small that we don't even think of to ask you for. We know you are there for our kids. You are working in us. I praise you Lord for being that kind of friend.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Shelli Allen, That Autism Mom

Day 28: Prayer Journey for the New School Year

Good Morning! GOOD MORNING!! GooooD MORNING!!! It's Sunday! It's a church day for us so I'll make this one short for all of us. Rushing around to get our families ready.

Day 28's verse is Philippians 4:19

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

I love this verse! For our homeschool families living on one income, we pray this verse in our sleep. lol! We know that God will supply for all our needs. We put our trust in him.

My prayer:

Dear Lord,

I have prayed this verse many times when our finances got tight and we did not know what we were going to do or how we were going to make. I've also prayed this verse Lord when I did not know how I was going to teach my children a particular subject or lesson. You have always provided. Go with us this school year, like in all the previous school years and be with us. Provide for the needs of every family. Give wisdom to the teachers and staff working with our kids as well as the momas at home teaching their kids at home.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

Day 27: Prayer Journey for the New School Year

Good Morning! Saturdays always call for coffee. Well, everyday really. Especially true for  Autism moms out there. I remember a time years ago when Saturday mornings were for sleeping in late. It was awesome!!! The memory is so faint that it brings tears to my eyes. :(

Well moving on... Today is Day 27 of our prayer journey. If you are just starting and would like to start on day one feel free to go to the website at www.thatautismmom.com and access the 31 day prayer journey. Each day has it's own special tab click on the day that you wish to go to and  your there! Yay!!

Today's verse is Proverbs 9:9.

" Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning."

NIV: "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning."

Dear Lord,

I want to raise kids who have a thirst for learning. I want them to enjoy the process of learning and the adventure of it all. Lord, help me to nurture their interest and encourage their love for discovery.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

See you back here tomorrow for Day 28!

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

Day 26: Prayer Journey for the New School Year.

Hello! Good Morning! Today is Friday!!!! I am really looking forward to the weekend. My husband has been working out of State and I haven't seen him all week. He is coming home and we will throw a party!! He!he!!

Okay so todays verse is in Psalms. My favorite book. Psalms 119:66

"Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments."

Here is the thing, We have to teach our children what is good behavior and what is not. On the other hand, parents, this is not easy for any of us. I believe that no matter how hard it is, it still has to be taught. So as we go about our days and passing instruction to our children let's pray this verse for them. That as we teach them they begin to believe and apply what is right in their own lives.

Dear Lord,
 I pray that my children fall in love with your word. I also pray that they apply its truths in their lives. As we go about each day help us as parents have the patience and the strength to teach what is right to our children. Lord, this is parenting thing is not for wimps. Lord, help me not be a wimp. :)

In Jesus Name. Amen.

See you back here tomorrow for day 27!!

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

Day 25: Prayer Journey for the New School Year

Hello and good morning. Do you have your coffee in hand? I have mine ready to go. Today is day 25! We have a little less than a week to go. I'm excited about nearing the end. I is a definite commitment to do a daily post like this. However, I feel like this is totally worth it.

So today's verse is Ephesians 6: 11-18 I really like this verse too. The whole armor of God is important to live a Christian life.

Here is the verse:

"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13.Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15. And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18. Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Dear Lord,

Help us to teach our kids what they need to be successful. What ever they set their heart to do, I want them to do it as unto you. I want them to know how to put on the whole armor of God. I want them to know what each piece represented and why it is important for them. I am training my kids for the world that they will soon be on their own in. I want to prepare them for the day that I will launch them like arrows into this world. So that they will be able to live the way that would be pleasing to you.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

I look forward to seeing you all back here tomorrow for day 26!!

See you soon!

Shelli Allen, That Autism Mom