Chocolate Covered Memories

This story comes to you today from a little piece of sunshine that is a sweet memory of my childhood. My grandma Johnson is a woman among women. I adore her. She is a masterful cook. She can whip anything up in a moments notice, from scratch. It's been the last couple of years that her health has been failing her. On Christmas day she was released from the hospital where she was admitted  for pain in her right arm. She was released just in time to make it home to welcome all the family into her home to celebrate. Christmas has always been an amazing family gathering at my grandparents home.

This particular story didn't happen at Christmas time, but it was during the deer hunting season. My dad and grandpa had went into the woods to do some deer hunting and grandma was in her kitchen melting the chocolate bark on the stove. My dad had bought chocolate bark before to put on top of our ice cream. I remember being amazed by how the chocolate hardened on the ice cream. Grandma was taking two Ritz crackers and putting peanut butter in between the two crackers and covering them with chocolate. My brother and I were responsible for putting the peanut butter on the crackers. I can hear Grandma now, "Don't put too much peanut butter on the crackers." She finished up the last of the chocolate and put the crackers in zip lock baggies. My brother got his own and I got one of my own. Then she filled a larger bag up for the guys out in the 'deer woods', as she called it. She put us in over sized orange vest and sent my brother and I out to take the guys hunting some of our goodies. She said, "This will help hold the guys over until dinner time. The peanut butter will give them energy." Off my brother and I went to find where the other guys were. It was a bit of an adventure. Grandma and Grandpa lived on quite a bit of land.

Today I pulled out the chocolate bark and just the sign of chocolate brought the kids to the kitchen, eager to see what I was going to make. We started putting peanut butter on the crackers and dipping them in the chocolate. It reminded me of the amazing time I had with my Grandma the first time I had this little treat and the adventure that she sent my brother and I on when we were kids. It really is the little things that we do with our kids that makes the difference. It's the time we spend talking with them and including them in our grown up worlds that they will recall with their own kids someday. All the grandmas out there that make yourselves available to your grandkids, teaching them the little things that their parents haven't got to just yet. You are valued and loved and you matter in the equation of growing happy healthy families.

That's all I have for today. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. From my home to your home have an amazing New Years!!

That Autism MOM


www.thatautismmom.com

Love getting Headstarts

About a month ago we moved to NWA (NorthwestArkansas). Autism parents can really grasp the intensity that a move can have on our children with autism. Then the time change came and autism parents know how the time change effects our children. Then there was Thanksgiving. I'm sure you know how well we all handle the holidays. While our children enjoyed seeing family it's hard on their sensitive little bodies. I'm just thinking with all this change I'll probably not sleep for an entire year. 😳

Well today was such a gift. I'm up before both of my kids. I feel like I even got to sleep in. I was woke up t 4am by Miss Izzy wanting her iPad, but she drifted right back to sleep. 8:00am came and they are still asleep. This is HUGE! They needed this and I needed this. Getting a head start on my day makes things flow so much better. This is going to be a good day.

I'm going to go enjoy my cup of coffee in silence now. I hope and pray you enjoy your day to. Find your blessings no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. One thing that autism has taught me is to appreciate the small victories, for me today is a HUGE victory!

Blessings,
Shelli, My Kids Mom
Thatautismmom.com

Gearing up for Thanksgiving

Good morning I realize that I have had very little time to set down and catch up on my blogging. We have relocated to the Northwest Arkansas area. This will be our first Thanksgiving in the new home. The transition was a little rough, but things are settling down in time for Thanksgiving.

There is a tradition on social media that is a beautiful display of thanks. Individuals daily will post what they are most Thankful for throughout the month of November. I did not participate, but I would like to take a brief moment to share what I am most Thankful for.

1. I am most Thankful for My family. Patrick is great dad, great provider for our home, and really a great husband to me. I am so thankful for Josh and Izzy. I enjoy so much of our time together. It's not all easy, but we try to have fun.

2. I am thankful to know the Lord. The strength and peace that he brings to my life on a daily basis is my saving grace. I know that I would not be able to do what I do, day in and day out, without him. I am thankful that he is just one breath away when I need Him.

3. I am thankful to live in America. Even in the craziness that is being played out in the news and other outlets of media, I am thankful for America. It is because of our freedom that people are so free to share their grievances. If we were an oppressed nation there would much less being voiced, I'm sure. I am thankful for the freedoms that I have and those that fought for those freedoms. It is easy to marginalize those freedoms when we did not pay a price for freedom. The bible instructs us to not forget the ancient landmarks. I don't want to forget the price that was paid today.

4. I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to become a mother. I smile as I write this out because it truly brings me so much joy. I love being a mother and being here with my kids. I was chasing Josh around the house yesterday. He was so clear and so much fun to be around. He has had a rough couple of months with all the transitions, its been rough on him. Yesterday was a reminder of who my son really is and what his baseline. Izzy was helping me in the kitchen. She loves to help out in the kitchen. I spend a lot of my time in the kitchen most days. It takes a lot to keep up with the meal schedules in our home so most of our days are hanging out in the kitchen. Both of my kids have above average skills in the kitchen and I am confident it is from our daily investments together in the kitchen that has made all the difference.

While I could go on and on, probably for the end of the entire month, but these are my top things I am thankful for.

If you are an autism family I will praying for you throughout the holiday season. I know how difficult it can be to change up the daily routines and adding people into your life that you only see this time of year. I get it. I know it is hard. It is for us. But challenge yourself, challenge your family to get out and see your extended family. You know just how much your family can handle, so even if it is just for a small moment of time, show up say hi and if you have to leave right after, so be it. Make an effort this season to connect. It is important, but I also want to encourage you to create a meaningful experience for your kids too. If that means fixing only the foods your kids will eat and calling that Thanksgiving, go for it.

Dad's pull away from the game and find your kids and make an effort to connect with them doing what they enjoy. Take them to the park to swing or purchasing an extra can of shaving cream and spreading it out on the craft table and play in it with your kids. If this is what is meaningful to them, then do it. Enter their world as much as possible and strive to engage with your family. Your days are numbered make the moments count.

Mom's try to relax and enjoy your day. I will you often prepare beyond just the cooking. Social Stories you prepared to make the day a success for your kids. You may have really worked hard to make sure that your kids had like foods that were within their diet restrictions. No one even notices your hours of prep time you put in for a successful day. I want to say thank you to you. I know that you work so hard being "that autism Mom" for your family. Happy Thanksgiving to you and I give you permission to relax and enjoy this day too. :)

I'd love to hear about how you celebrate Thanksgiving? Do you have special traditions? How do you survive the challenging obstacles? I would love to hear about it.

Thanksgiving is a time for family. Enjoy your families despite all the differences and quarks. Love one another and bless one another.


Shelli Allen, My Kids MOM
thatautismmom.com

Chiari's Malformation

We were sure that Josh was having seizures. We were doing the MRI to determine if the seizures had caused damage to his brain when we discovered that Josh had Chiari's Malformation. He was only 5 years old. Upon learning this, I was terrified. What if he was having extreme pain or headaches and not be able to tell me that he was in pain. Josh has been non verbal since he was 17months old. We had already received the Autism Diagnosis, but we kept struggling with regression. He kept losing skills that he had already mastered. He didn't have your most typically known type of seizures, he has what is known as absent seizures. That day I learned two things, well maybe more than two things. I learned that seizures had not yet caused any damage to his brain, but we also learned that Josh had  Chiari's Malformation.

{https://youtu.be/50nI45Qn878} This is an awareness video from YouTube That shows some of the symptoms of Chiari's.

When the doctor first shared the symptoms with me, it crushed me. My son couldn't tell me if he was in pain. We knew that with autism he would struggle with sensory challenges, which he does on large scale. I struggled to hold it together when the doctor told me that Chiari's causes extreme pain throughout the body.  The doctor suggested decompression surgery. We had the best neuro surgeon.

The mark showing the site for the incision.

I couldn't get the picture to flip for us. This is the cool car that they had for IV drips.

We were all so nervous. He was only 5years old and this was a 5 hour surgery. Having the surgery was a no brainer for me. Josh had to have the surgery. We spent a week in the hospital. I never left my son. I was sleeping in the bed next to him, making sure that I didn't miss anything. He was scared and I could see it in his eyes. He was afraid to eat for days. He was afraid to move his head. He hated all the tubes, so did I. When he was finally able to walk up and down the hallway, I seen his confidence improve. He was so strong and brave.

I always wonder how Chiari's is effecting my son daily.  I keep a close eye for signs of pain or loss of strength. I try to not let it dictate our days, but there is a bit of constant worry in the back of my thoughts. More than anything I hate it that he can't talk. I rely on his actions and gestures to clue me in for what he wants and what he needs. He was climbing trees three months after the surgery. He has no fear. I'm thankful for that. He has had great follow up visits since the surgery. It seems that the surgery was a success. I struggle with what I don't know. The things that he can't tell me. I believe that finding out early was a good thing. Kids are amazing when it comes to healing. They are resilient. That was certainly the case for Josh.

Shelli Allen, My Kids MOM

Pumpkin Spice Coffee

I'm in the office this morning sipping on Pumpkin Spice Coffee while the kids are outside playing and soaking up this beautiful weather. Windows are all open and I am counting down the hours for my husband walks through the door.

We got some great pumpkin spice coffee for the Keurig and I love it. So does my son.

I walked into the living room to find this cutie sitting on the couch sipping on my pumpkin spice. See the ornery look in those eyes; it's a constant look for him. He is so full of life and love. He was caught yesterday helping his little sister out of the car. It melts my heart. I am so thankful for these moments of clarity for me. This is what is important to me, these kids, our family, and moments that we spend together living our life dependent on one another. Family life lessons are being taught here. Lessons that include pumpkin spice coffee and a comfy blanket on a September Morning. :) This is the stuff that life is made of. I am feeling fall in the air and this makes me so happy.

Let's be thankful.

Shelli Allen, That autism Mom

To the tired MOM

Today is Friday moms and I am so glad this week is over. It has been a long and emotional week for me. July 3rd I prepared myself mentally and physically to say good bye to my husband for three weeks. He has taken an interim job with the company that he works for. It's August 26 and he is still there and will be for another two more weeks. 3 weeks has turned into eternity.

On the weekends my husband comes home to spend it with us. The weekends are just not long enough. It's not enough time to catch up on sleep that I have not got all week, spend meaningful time with my husband, and take time for me. I need time to be by myself to not think about anything. I have to have time to disconnect. You know, if you are a mom or parent of kids with special needs, you are plugged in 24/7. We don't sleep even when our eyes are closed. I'm not sure I every reach REM unless I know that I can count on my husband to be on watch so that I can turn off. It is easy to see how we develop such things as PTSD keeping this kind of schedule.

I have not been very good at developing a good support team for myself. I like to maintain this 'I can do it all' image. The thing is, I can't do it all. I have went into survival mode more than once during these last several weeks. I have dropped everything. Therapies, and all other appointments just to survive. This is exhausting. I'm not sure that I have articulated what my needs are to my family so that they can be a support to me during this time. God knows that I have tried. I have said everything except, "Get over here right now before I lose my sanity." The thing is during "crises" mode if all that you have at the end is your dignity, then by all means keep your dignity. Bahaha!

I laugh it off, but in times like these I do turn to God and trust him more than ever before. He has been the constant. When you can't trust anyone else, even your family, you can trust God. His strength is perfect. There is a song that I have played over and over during this time in my life. I'll leave the link here https://youtu.be/pSUu3H3rFQQ This song is sang by the Indiana Bible College, "Lord, I am broken. My life is in pieces, but your strength is perfect in all of my weakness." These are just a few of the words. It has really been a great source of strength for me. The words, the repetition of the name of Jesus was such a great reminder to me. He is my best friend. When no one shows up, God always will show up. All we have to do is call on his name. The strength that I have found during this time in my life will be a constant reminder that when my strength is gone, I can always count on God for his strength to get me through. I will look back even with this being one of the most difficult times in my life and say that I was truly blessed. God came through for me.

Maybe next time we will talk about what survival mode looks like. I might share a few pics as proof of the disaster that is my house right now. Oh my... maybe not. Remember I still have my dignity to protect. My dignity and my silly pride. Shaking my head (SMH)

I hope that you all get what you need out of your weekends. Get some rest. Enjoy some time to just unplug.  Just breathe...

Praying for you mom. Hang in there.

Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

I Pledge Allegiance

School is starting next week in our home. Not a whole lot will change from our daily routine because really, we do school year round. I am always trying to engage my children in some type of learning all year round. It works best with our need for "sameness" and gives us a consistency that helps my children thrive.

These are two of the three pledges that we do as apart of our morning routine. It may seem silly to quote the pledges as apart of a home education, but its a simple tradition that I wanted to give my children. My poster with the America pledge on it got damaged so I've got to get a new one before next Monday. My kids look forward to doing the pledge. When we first started this last year, I would have to hold both my kids hands over their heart as I would say the pledge. Talking about awkward!! But I kept with it and both kids now will place their hands over their heart for the pledges by themselves. It is really cute to watch them.

The Bible Pledge goes like this:

"I pledge allegiance to the Bible, God's holy word.

I will make it a lamp unto my path and

will hide it's words in my heart that I might not sin against God."

The Christian Flag Pledge goes like this:

"I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the

Savior for whose Kingdom it stands,

one Savior, crucified, risen, and

coming again, with life and liberty to all who believe."

I assume you all know the Pledge to the American Flag. So I wont include it here. We also do a morning calendar. I can truthfully say I need this probably more than the kids do. I would never know what the date was if I didn't do this. It is easy for me to get lost in the routines and never think of today is the eighth  and it's Monday. So we do a daily calendar as well the weather. We will also be tracking the first 100 days of school just for the fun of it. :)

Part of our morning routine is our morning chores. Josh, my oldest, loves to work. He is really a determined little worker in our house. He is usually up before anyone vacuuming his room and living area. This wakes us all up usually before the alarm would go off. We don't typically set an alarm. We never know how sleep is going to happen at night. This is such a great perk for us. Sleep has always been hit and miss. So this works out great.

Learning happens in so many shapes and forms. This is Izzy tall kneeling, which is great, doing some drawing. She started out writing her name then moved on. I am so thankful to witness these joyous moments with my kids.

The last thing I want to share in this scattered post is our daily schedule. It is right by our clock and like the calendar, it really helps me and the kids stay on task. I would probably forget to feed the kids if I didn't have these posted throughout the house. :O)

Let me know how you do your home education. I'd love to read how you all do school at home with your kids. What are your goals for this school year?

Hope you enjoyed a little glimpse into our little world.

Shelli Allen, That Autism Mom